"I'll I want is what is coming to me! All I want is... My fair share!"

This past summer I had the pleasure of a play date with Belly's baby girl, who's not so much a baby anymore, especially now that she's packing her own backpack to bring with her where she goes (the contents of which include a stuffed bunny, some Goldfish crackers, and one purple plastic princess high heel.)

I can't make this sh*t up.

It would seem Belly's baby is not alone, however. I guess princess accessories are what all good girls are as asking for this Christmas... This gem comes to me courtesy of Fingers and her ridiculously adorable quasi-niece whom I haven't seen in quite sometime, but judging by this letter, is someone I'd like to hang out with:


Dear Edie:

Please come visit sometime soon, and please bring your ridiculous cuteness with you.

Sincerely,

Library Lady.

I played Guess Who for the first time in many moons last night.

It's a classic game, really. Totally fun, and totally ridiculous. We laughed our pants off. You know how to play, right? Two players, both holding a board with flip-up tiles, each tile with a different face. Choose a card from the deck of faces, and take turns asking descriptive questions to determine which face your partner is holding.

Seeing the face tiles again for the first time brought back a lot of memories. There's Max, the Mario-esque character; Bill, the jaunty red-head; Susan, who wears too much make-up; Richard, the sinister prick; and my favourite, Herman.

While the premise of the game is totally simple, you can really shake things up based on the questions you ask. The way I see it, there are three ways to play Guess Who:

1. Take the classic route, and ask the generic questions that, provided your brain-to-trigger finger synapses are functioning properly, will win you the game in the most direct manner possible. If it's the thrill of the win that fuels your fire, take this path of least resistance and you'll surely capture the Guess Who cup. Stick with questions like:

  • Are you a man?
  • Do you wear a hat?
  • Are your eyes blue? 
2. If you're a gambling wo/man, walk the wild side. Seriously consider the tiles on your board, and make note of their unique physical attributes. If you're smart, you'll pull out those differences that will eliminate the largest segments of the population first, while challenging your partner to take a closer look at their person. Consider questions like:
  • Do you have free hanging lobes?
  • Does your person have crows feet?
  • Does your person appear genuinely surprised?
3. Unleash the gauntlet and move beyond the physical. Really "consider" your tiles... Think of the man behind the face, and the life they lead outside of the Guess Who game board. This is my preferred method of play, and while more subjective and thus substantially more likely you'll encounter differences of opinion between your partner and yourself, thus increasing the chances of your making a monumental mistake, it's decidedly more fun. Questions might include, but are not limited to:
  • Was your person ever part of the military? If yes, consider flipping down those tiles wearing a beret (obviously), those with a snarly face, and those with a moustache (I'm just sayin'...)
  • If your person was in an orchestra, would they sit in the brass section or the string? If your opponent says "string", consider flipping down those persons with large lips, puffed cheeks, and/or a red face ( from blowing on those horns...)
  • Does your person have a substance abuse problem? If yes, consider flipping those tiles with shifty eyes, those who appear either too happy or too sad, and the dishevelled (David)
All in all, if you're looking for something to do this weekend, consider Guess Who. I'm pretty pumped to pick it up again tonight, and can only imagine how a wobbly pop or two will improve the event.

p.s. THIS clip made me laugh. A lot...

It never rains but it pours...

FYI, I had to double check the exact phrasing of that saying before titling this post... I often get these types of things wrong:

  • "Play it by year..."
  • "Per say..."
  • "Possession is five eighths of the law..."
But seriously, man the levees and secure the shutters because a sh*t storm has blown into town.

You know when your brain reaches maximum capacity, and you're thinking about a million things at once, trying to cram as much into a single day as possible? "Can I get to the bank at lunch after I get that shower gift but before I run to the grocery store for that frozen pizza I need for tonight, and do you think I can eat soup at my desk?" This is how it is right now. I make lists of lists. And then I staple the lists together. And then I stare at my lists and wonder when in this poop hurricane I'll find time to suck back the stack of leadership books I promised to have digested by December 1st?

Today I left work 30 minutes early, with the promise of taking a 30 minute lunch tomorrow. I'm literally running on borrowed time...

The worst part? I feel like I've lost all ability to make small talk, because in the middle of a smile or laugh or simple conversation I'm thinking "will I have time to put in laundry when I get home and dry it before 7:30 am, because I don't really have anything to wear to work tomorrow..." And then I feel bad, because I truly do care, and I like the small talk, but my brain feels like a deep fried chicken ball.

And I don't even have a child! How you baby mama's do it, I'm not quite sure...

Bottom line: there are a lot of people out there who currently feel exactly... the same... way. I know it. In fact, one of the reasons I feel like a Chinese take-out staple is because you people are all in your own poo hurricane and I want so badly to help. So let's all do as Byron, the yogi, instructs dearest Fingers and I every Tuesday night: connect with our breath, relax our shoulders, feel compassion for our knees, and focus on something that's dear to us.

Me? I'll focus on you people and channel my positive energy your way. [[[[[{}]]]]]

(That's a computer generated interpretation of my positive energy flowing your way... Can't you just feel the chi?)

I don't usually post sh*t like this...

... So forgive. But this puppy is way too cute. Seriously. He'll make your day, whether you like dogs (Beef) or not (Library Lady). This chunky little dude melts even my cold, unfeeling heart.

Click HERE to be overwhelmed with squishy paws, golden rolls, and ridiculousness.

And as they say, happy Monday.

Raise your right hand and say it with me kids:

"I promise to keep away from lead paint dust and lead paint flakes."

Thanks to Hurr_ah for this gem. Hey, Lil' Fingers! Maybe Mother Bear's Game could replace Boxhead at your next Camp party?

Just an idea... Lead is everywhere, you know.

Three things that did not improve the day:

  1. Getting the recommended flu shot and the subsequent flu-like symptoms that the nice public nurse ladies insist you won't get, including that creepy bruised feeling in your arm where the needle went in.
  2. Left over salmon and peas for lunch that you really never wanted to eat when it was fresh salmon and peas.
  3. The Little Couple marathon on TLC.
  4. Tooting three times in yoga class.
 Add "poor math skills" to this list.